Morning Buzz

“The last thing we want to do is feel panic and start to play outside ourselves,” Barry Zito says. Wait. I don’t get it. Is he saying they should play within themselves? That team? He thinks that team should continue to be the players they are?

Normally I’d agree with the don’t-go-outside-yourself mantra, but this is the time to panic. Times like these are why the word panic was invented, from the Latin pan, meaning everybody. What this requires is that a truly stupid and futile gesture be done on someone’s part. And we’re just the guys to do it!

P.S. Zito’s ERA is 4.83. If that doesn’t come down in his next one or two starts, he will have his highest ERA through June of his entire career. Gosh. I know the $18 million didn’t guarantee he’d have his best year. But did anyone really think he’d have his worst?

P.P.S. Manager says Matt Cain reminds him of Trevor Hoffman. I suppose that’s true, in that both pitchers know they lose if they give up two home runs.

P.P.P.S. The Brewers were on a soap opera yesterday, then finished off the sweep. Players said acting was harder than it seems. So, we can say, The Young And The Restless is tougher than The Old And The Zestless.

To the morning recap …

• Meanwhile, Dan Haren keeps making his bid to start the All-Star Game in San Francisco. Yeah, the Giants were hoping one of the A’s better starters of 2006 would be on the hill for the 2007 extravaganza.
• When did this start anyway, the Giants being a superstar-heavy, winning-light organization and the A’s being solid but unspectacular? Oh, how about with the dawn of time, or at least the dawn of baseball in the Bay Area?
• NASCAR’s international man of mystery. I don’t know why I always think they were taking a shot at him with Sacha Baron Cohen’s flamboyant Euro driver in “Talladega Nights.”
• ESPN tabs Mike & Mike (and Mike Ditka) for 49ers-Cardinals back end of opening Monday night doubleheader. They were just going to call Brad Nessler and Dick Vermeil. But those two are too competent, and they don’t afford the possibility of shameless self-promotion. In other news, Greenberg milked a cow this morning.
• Irony in the steroid era: As the Rangers’ owner bemoans signing one perhaps steroid-aided slugger, another one hits the 600-homer plateau. And the only thing bothering the Rangers is that they paid too much for the guy who broke down.
• Meanwhile, PGA Tour wants to do some drug testing. It’s obvious they’re worried that guys with overdeveloped physiques like Angel Cabrera are ruining the game.
• It’s June already, so we absolutely must begin discussing fantasy football. Frank Gore, hubba hubba. He wants to run longer, “so when I break out with long runs, I can score.” Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?